


Ava X Fem!Reader (My Inner Demons)

by Michaela_Lupine



Category: My Inner Demons (Aphmau)
Genre: Asch has anger management issues, Ava has stolen my heart and won't give it back, Bisexual Female Character, Damos - Freeform, F/F, Friendship/Love, I should've gone to bed hours ago, I'm fairly certain Leif is the hot male version of one of my friends, Idiots in Love, Johnny loves Pierce's ponytail, Mrs Oats is so wise yet so blind at the same time, Multi, Noi is sweetest cinnamon roll ever, Other, Rhys loves ice cream
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22550320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michaela_Lupine/pseuds/Michaela_Lupine
Summary: The story of me and my girlfriend Ava, oh and I guess the five demon boys who keep trying to marry her whilst I wish murder was legal.
Relationships: Ava (My Inner Demons)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter One - I somehow manage to sleep through my girlfriend getting kidnapped

**Author's Note:**

> For this story only the reader's name is optional. (Y/N) is taller than Ava and Noi, around Leif's height, but Pierce, Rhys and Asch are taller, if the latter two not by much. Her canon hair is long and she dyes it a variety of colours, but as of the moment is brown and her eyes are dark green. (Imagine it to be different if you want, but that's what I'll be writing down) Ava and (Y/N) are a couple and have been for just over 26 months (2 years and 2 months)
> 
> Also: both Ava and (Y/N) are Bisexual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this story only the reader's name is optional. (Y/n) is taller than Ava, Noi and Leif, around Rhys' and Asch's height (I'm head-cannoning that as around 6 2") but of course, Pierce is a giant and still towers over her. Her canon hair is long and she dyes it a variety of colours, but as of the moment is (dyed) brown and her eyes are green. (Imagine it to be different if you want, but that's what I'll be writing down) Ava and (Y/n) are a couple and have been for just over 18 months (1 year and 6 months)
> 
> For notes: both Ava and (Y/n) are Bisexual

I am well known for being a heavy sleeper, but somehow I managed to sleep through my girlfriend getting kidnapped.

Whilst I can sleep through various alarms only four things in this world can wake me up, Ava getting out of bed (aka my personal radiator leaving), the smell of bacon and of course the classic cup or bucket of water to the face.

The fourth thing is Ava screaming because it generally means she's (heaven forbid) managed to burn the bacon.

So I woke up to my girlfriend screaming her head off, but no smell of burning bacon. Needless to say, I was pretty scared.

The piercing scream was closely followed by the sound of a sword being drawn and exchange of yelled words.

Opening my eyes and peeking out from under the mound of fabric I've wrapped around me I see a guy in cosplay rummaging through my draws, finally, he pulls out a bra and announces in a low voice, "I've uncovered it!" What the hell?

I blink several times and my heart begins hammering in my chest. Strangers are in our flat and they don't know what a bra is. I've got to get to Ava.

Quietly reaching into my bedside cabinet I pull out a gun. Okay, it's not a real gun.

It's still black and looks rather intimidating but it's a pellet gun for laser run practice. Laser run is done with a laser gun (hence the name), you shoot at a target and after five green lights (centre of the target) you run a set distance and go round in a large loop several times, fastest person wins. The pellet gun is purely for target practice.

Pulling up the cocking leaver I slide in a pellet, the gun can only hold one at a time, but I doubt I'll have time to reload and hopefully, the sight of a gun alone will scare them off.

The gentle click of the dry-fire lock being switched off is echoed by the clang of what sounds like a frying pan hitting someone in the face.

Ava's piercing scream of "(Y/N)!!!" jolts me into action and I run out of our shared bedroom.

"The noise is still unbearable!" A male who is maybe a couple of inches taller than me snaps, "I'll shut her up!"

He holds out his hand and a ball of fire collects in his palm.

What the hell is going on here? Am I still asleep? No, it feels too real, the floor is cold under my bare feet and I can feel the blood pumping in my ears.

I run to a few metres behind them and hold my gun out in front of me, snapping the lever down to both attract the men's attention and prepare the gun to fire. These pellets could only give you a nasty bruise, but I'm counting on the fact that they're not smart enough to know.

"PUT HER DOWN!" I yell with as much anger as I can muster, which isn't hard, how dare these people even touch my girlfriend!

All three of the men pivot around and stare at me. "Another human!" The one with pink hair and orange horns yells.

"The human may be armed but she is injured and pose no threat to us!" The one with black hair drawls. He's the leader because of the gold ring on his white horns and I wonder what he means by wounded when I follow his line of sight to my neck.

Oh, right, the hickeys.

I flush a deep red and struggle to resist the urge to cover my neck with my hands.

"No matter! Now put Ava down before I shoot!" I yell back.

"Make us." The black-haired demon growls before forming another ball of fire, this one pointed at me.

I close my left eye and aim at his, well, you know (where the sun doesn't shine) before exhaling and squeezing the trigger.

A loud bang echoes throughout the apartment and the demon collapses in pain, the fire disappearing and a yell of pain roaring out of his mouth.

"It's killed Asch!" The small demon yells again before drawing two daggers and his dark companion a staff.

I frown because the overreaction seemed genuine and anyone could tell he isn't dead, just in a hell of a lot of pain.

This is why you don't threaten my girlfriend.

"Er, yeah, t-that's right! I won't hesitate to attack you too unless you return Ava to me!" I yell, my uncertainty echoing throughout my sentence and making it obvious I'm terrified. Trying to calm my trembling arm I raise the now empty pistol at the taller of the two, as he seems to be higher in rank.

"Leif!" The dark-haired demon yells and I hear a sound behind me. Turning around as quickly as possible, I see another cosplayer, this one with white hair standing behind me with his arm raised above my head.

My gun moves with my arm and smacks him in the head before his arm comes down.

He just laughs, "This one's got claws!" before picking me up, restraining my arms with one of his and covering my mouth with the other. My screams of anger come out muffled and I wriggle around in his grasp, desperately thrashing around in the demon's grip. He's barely taller than me, maybe just a centimetre or two but manages to lift me off the floor with ease and seems amused by my frantic struggle.

"How _dare_ you?!" Asch's voice yells in disbelief as he stands, still wincing from his bullet to the nuts and by the look in his eyes I might end up on the wrong end of the fireball that's forming larger and hotter than before in his hand.

"Asch! Stop, we need them to trust us! Hurting them isn't going to help us," The dark blue demon reasons.

"Can't we just kill one and keep the other?" Leif, the demon holding me asks.

Ava screams even louder and I start trying to hammer my heels into Leif's shins, much to his amusement.

"No, we'll just wait for them to stop, which should be any moment now," Rhys announces with finality.

**-+~•~+-**

3:35 pm turns into 6:35 pm and even though I've stopped yelling I'm still wriggling around in the demon's grip whilst Ava somehow has had the lung capacity to keep going.

"Why is this day taking FOREVER!" Leif yells as I try for the millionth time to escape his grip, but he seems inhumanly strong and my gun was taken off of me and placed on the coffee table.

"I can't take it anymore!" The pink-haired demon, whose name I've learned is Noi, cries, "Make her stop!"

"Just _kill her_." Asch groans from the couch with his head in his hands.

Leif falters at the mention of death, "Who's killing what now?" He asks quickly, his attention now on Asch. His hand is less firmly on my mouth and I take the opportunity to unlock my jaw as far as it can go and bite down hard on his fingers.

Leif drops me in surprise, "She bit me!"

I fall to the floor and groan, trying to stand when a small straight knife is pressed to my neck. I look up to see Leif examining his finger, probably debating if I poisoned him and slightly to my right to see Noi is the one holding me to a blade. I inhale to scream but a hand is quickly pressed against my mouth and Noi looks almost apologetic as he does so.

Rhys, the demon with dark blue robes stands, "Let me try something."

"We've tried _nothing_ and we're all out of ideas," Asch says, standing up.

"I have an idea," Rhys responds plainly.

"You couldn't have had one sooner?" Noi asks from his spot in the corner.

" _Silence_." Rhys orders before approaching Ava, "Human." He calls, when Ava doesn't respond he claps his hands and repeats it louder.

Ava quiets down and Noi speaks quietly in surprise, "That - worked?"

"Why didn't you try that sooner?" Leif asks, looking up from his finger.

"I didn't think a pet command gesture would work." Rhys answers plainly before turning back to Ava, "Human, please forgive our intrusion, but-"

At this moment I grab Noi's wrist, twisting it and his knife away from me before drawing my elbow back to hit him with all my strength in the chest and standing up, his hand falling from my mouth.

I ball up my fists and position my feet like I've seen in movies, breathing heavily. He holds his hands up in a placating gesture and I turn to Ava, silently telling her that this is only a distraction as my eyes, which only she knows, betray my complete and utter fear of the situation.

Rhys continues, but a little more nervously, "- We wish to speak with you. If we let you move, will you please not scream and tell your warrior to stand down." He finishes, gesturing to me, "We promise not to hurt you."

"No we don't," Asch whispers under his breath.

Ava doesn't hear Asch and nods in agreement, her pink eyes wide in fear.

"Good." Rhys announces, "Alright Pierce, let her go."

Pierce puts her down and I immediately rush towards her, engulfing her in a hug which she returns after a second. When we separate I take position by her side and when Pierce pats Ava on the head, I growl softly at the male, and he stops.

"Um," Ava stammers, "What the hell are you guys?"

"That doesn't matter," His royal-pain-in-the-ass announces, summoning another ball of fire, "Now tell us about your world!"

I slide my right arm protectively around Ava's waist, sending Asch a glare that could kill.

"Your Majesty!" Rhys interrupts, giving Asch a look, who grudgingly extinguishes the fire.

"Wait, so that magic fire s-stuff I saw b-before was real?" Ava asks disbelievingly.

"Yes, allow me to explain," Rhys supplies, "We are from another world and go by the name Damos."

"Your name is Damos?" Ava asks, confused.

"N-no, we are Damos," Rhys answers, equally confused.

"You're all named Damos?"

"No, my name is Rhys-"

"You're world is Rhys?"

The corners of my mouth twist up into a small smile, did I forget to mention how easily Ava can make me laugh?

"Just, ugh," Rhys takes a deep breath and recomposes himself, "We are from another world, our home is being threatened by a, a horrible monster who threatens to engulf everything we care about!"

"What?" Ava asks, her face twisted in confusion.

"Basically most fantasy plots," I whisper in her ear, causing her face to brighten a little.

"That's right," Rhys reassures us, "So we've come to ee-urth to learn about it, to discover if this world is suitable for us to, move our people here." He finishes carefully.

"Move your people here," Ava repeats slowly.

Noi, who has moved to stand next to Leif by the window starts to say something but is quickly cut off by Leif who smacks him hard on the back of the head the hisses something into his ear.

"We truly have no idea where we are in this world," Rhys explains, "Or even how to begin living in it. So please, can a powerful sorcerer, such as yourself, help us?"

Rhys then kneels before Ava and his actions are mimicked by all the other demons except for Asch, who just rolls his eyes when Johnny (Ava's cat that we now both look after) dips his head down as well.

Ava looks around in bewilderment and I give her a reassuring squeeze. She looks up at me and I just shake my head in a complete 'I-have-no-idea-what-the-hell-is-going-on' fashion.

Ava just laughs nervously, "O-one second," before leading me with her to the bathroom down the hall.

I shut the door behind me and Ava detaches from me to go over to the sink.

Turning on the tap, she cups water in her hands and splashes a little on her face and I do the same soon after.

"This is a dream right?" She asks me, "This is some kind of sexy dream I'm having that is just stupidly weird and informative, right?"

"I wish it was Ava," I tell her, cupping her face between my hands, "But it's not, we're very much awake."

To prove my point I lean my head down and press my lips to hers for a moment before pulling away.

"Well that doesn't prove anything, I've had dreams about that before..." Ava whispers to herself. I raise my eyebrows and she blushes, playfully slapping my hand.

"Well then, we need to think smart," Ava continues, her tone serious yet worried, " _We're_ outnumbered here," She feels around in her pockets, "And my phone has gone off somewhere and I'm guessing yours is still on the nightstand?"

I nod and lower my head slightly, embarrassed. "There's no way they're real demons, right?" I ask Ava, "They're probably just some optical illusionists!"

"That's probably it (Y/N)," Ava replies. Her face brightens, "Wait, I've got it!" Standing on tiptoe, she whispers her plan into my ear and I smile, nodding enthusiastically in response.

Ava opens the bathroom door to see the guy all crowding around it. Undeterred, she continues with a fake smile, "Alright, we can help you guys!"

"You can?" Rhys asks for clarification.

I exit the bathroom, a similarly fake smile on my face, "Yes, we can! In fact, we know the perfect people who can help you!"

"Other, humans?" Pierce asks slowly.

"Should we trust this?" Leif asks Rhys incredulously.

"Anything to help us is greatly appreciated," Rhys says warmly.

"Rhys," Asch interrupts, "This is obviously a trap!"

"No, I'm going to put my faith in this human female sorcerer and warrior."

"Yeah," Noi exclaims from beside Ava, "They seem like nice ladies!"

"R-really?" Ava asks.

"Don't show them weakness Noi," Asch growls.

"Prince Asch," Rhys lowers his voice in warning.

His-royal-pain-in-the-ass huffs, "Fine."

"Prince?" Ava and I repeat simultaneously, our eyebrows raised.

"It's none of your concern humans," Asch says back, "Now take us to these humans who can help us and remember, I have your source of power!"

Asch holds up one of Ava's bras that he took from her draw.

" _Right_ ," Ava drawls sarcastically, "Can you give (Y/N) a moment to get changed?"

Asch opens his mouth to object but Rhys cuts him off, "Of course, but why?"

"I ain't going out dressed like this, sunshine," I respond sarcastically, gesturing to my pyjamas which consist of some shorts and an old grey tank top that is practically see-through in the light.

Returning to the door a few minutes later in a black sports bra and tank, a dark forest-green hoodie with some leggings and my hair pulled up into a rather messy ponytail, I give Ava a thumbs up which she returns with a smile.

"Alright then, let us take you to the government!"


	2. Chapter Two - The saucepan's okay! Oh and there's a demon prince and his entourage on the couch.  But the saucepan's okay!

_Returning to the door a few minutes later in a black sports bra and tank, a dark forest-green hoodie with some leggings and my hair pulled up into a rather messy ponytail, I give Ava a thumbs up which she returns with a smile._

_"Alright then, let us take you to the government!"_

**-+~•~+-**

"Fascinating," Rhys exclaims, "What is this _govern_ ment?"

"Woah!" Noi gasps in awe, much like a little kid being led into a candy store and being told he can have as much as he wants, "It's a giant _castle!_ "

"No, no, no," Ava starts, "The government is a big organisation that deals with _politics_."

"And takes people's money without _actually doing anything with it_ ," I add.

"Mon-ee?" Leif sounds out the word carefully, unsure what it means. These guys are good actors, aren't they?

"Yup," Ava confirms with a big, but fake, smile on her face, " _So_ , we're going to leave you guys _here_ , okay."

I point towards the doors, our plan for ditching these weirdo cosplayers coming together, "If you go to that _door_ , you can go inside and ask for _help_ ," I speak like I am talking to a child and whilst I'm not sure if Noi is a child I hope it offends the others.

"Okay?" I finish, not waiting for an answer as I grab Ava's hand and we leave with a resounding, "See ya!"

As Ava and I cross the road, satisfied that we've seen the last of those cosplayers and that if they come to the convention tomorrow I'll have the sweet satisfaction of kicking them out or handing them over to the cops. 

Once we're far enough away, I take several large steps so I'm walking in front of her and then crouch down.

Ava giggles and jumps onto my back, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as I hook my own under her legs, which are resting on top of my hips. Yeah, it's silly, but if anyone saw us they'd think that we're just two friends goofing off as they wouldn't immediately assume two girls are dating. As accepting as _most_ people are of the LGBTQ+ community, most normally assume two girls goofing off, heck, even two girls holding hands, are only in a platonic relationship.

A scream interrupts our fluffy moment.

"Oh, _fwu_ -" Ava starts as I turn around, Ava still clinging on, and cross back over the - mercifully empty - road.

"What do you mean _'we can't go in'_?!" His royal pain-in-the-ass protests indignantly, as if this was the biggest insult he'd ever received.

"Your Majesty, _stop_!" Rhys attempts to intervene and stop Asch from chocking the officer he's holding by the _throat_!? What the hell?!

The policeman chokes out a response but I'm still too far away to make it out.

"Then this _'Monday'_ better come now!" Asch continues to yell, fire spitting from his free hand, "I've dealt with the most _annoying_ female humans and now this?!"

"How on earth is he freaking stupid enough to do that to a cop? They really are from -" Ava says quickly in my ear as I return her to the floor and she goes up to Asch, not finishing her sentence.

"Asch, we need to strategize!" Rhys insists, visibly frustrated.

"No!" Asch proclaims, a manic glint in his eye, "I want this human dead!"

"Please, it's my first day on the job!" The officer wheezes.

"Wait, stop!" Ava tries to say when she is interrupted by his royal pain-in-the-ass yet again.

"STAY OUT OF THIS SORCERER!"

"Please listen! I-if you kill him, a-a hundred more will take his place!"

"HOW CAN WE TRUST YOU!"

"Please just do! You were right this was a trap, but only because we didn't believe you guys were from another world or whatever! Now just get out of, g-get going before-"

The policeman fumbles for his radio and croaks into it, "Officer requesting backup. I'm being attacked!"

"You idiots!" I exclaim loudly, lunging forward to grab Ava's hand, "Drop him and follow us!" We both set off at a run, having to disentangle our hands so we can increase our speed. 

Rounding a corner, I stop Ava and pull her towards me by the waist. She lets out a squeak and I clamp my lips down onto her's, kissing her hard.

"What have we got ourselves into?"

**-+~•~+-**

Ava, the Damos and I return to mine and Ava's apartment and we stand in a similar formation as to how we were first all gathered by the coffee table. Ava and I have our backs to our bedroom door and the Damos stand in a ring around us, though a good three or four feet away.

"So you guys really _are_ demons," Ava states blandly.

"Damos!" Rhys corrects.

"Whatever," Ava dismisses, "So, you guys have nowhere to stay?"

"No," Noi says, a little too calmly for my liking, "We don't have a home here on ee-urth."

Ava and I both sigh, "Fine, you guys can crash here tonight," Ava decides.

"Hmf, we weren't going to take no for an answer," Asch says, "You are our prisoners and you will do as I command."

"We could dump the body in the river and no one would be any wiser," I mutter darkly under my breath and Ava slaps my wrist playfully before turning to the prince who I had just threatened to dispose of.

"Yeah, yeah, you need to get your manners in check," She tells Asch.

"Huh?" Asch looks a hilarious mixture between shocked and confused and I'm glad my girlfriend knocked him down a few pegs.

"Look, I'm just _tired_ from all of this and I bet (Y/N) is too, so you guys make yourselves at home, don't steal anything and-" Ava cuts herself off with a yawn and I put my hand on her shoulder sympathetically.

"It's alright," I whisper to her, "You go to bed, I'll join you once I've got these boys in check." I give her a little squeeze and smile and she turns to me gratefully, smiling as well, before going into our bedroom and closing the door with a click.

I turn back to the Damos, smile turning into a frown. "You've tired my Ava out and you're all _very_ lucky I'm not electing to kill you right now and that we're letting you stay the night."

I glare at them all before continuing in a friendlier tone, "Blankets are in the closet and _I'm_ making some food because I haven't eaten a _damn thing_ _all day_ and I am _hangry_." I make my way over to the kitchen and open the fridge, taking out the last packet of bacon - or as I call it - the most magnanimous holiness of food.

"Hang-gree?" Noi sounds out the word again, confused to what it means.

"It's a mixture of hungry and angry," I explain, feeling a little more sympathetic towards Noi than the others, he just seems like a big kid.

"Fascinating." Rhys repeats, is that like his catchphrase or something?

At this moment Ava opens our bedroom door again, "But I swear to God if we end up murdered in the morning I'm going to come back and haunt all of you forever, " before slamming the door shut again.

"At least we know why she resisted me," Leif announces, "She can haunt people."

"She is a powerful sorcerer," Pierce remarked.

Ava's shouting comes through the door, "IT'S SORCERESS, GET IT RIGHT!"

Smiling widely, I retrieve the frying pan from where Ava threw it and after inspection, exhale in relief, it's intact! Placing it onto the stove, I pull out some oil and set it to the side.

The damos are all just staring at me.

"Are you guys just gonna stand there or are you going to get those blankets?"

No response.

I roll my eyes and point to Leif, then Pierce and finally at the ground by my feet. 

"Snow-white, Beanstalk! Front and centre!"

The damos in question glance at each other. "Snow-White?" Leif asks incredulously.

"Would you prefer snowflake?"

Pierce merely looks over while Leif sighs and turns to Rhys, "We don't take orders from her, do we?"

I interrupt before Rhys can even speak, "If you want to stay then you will." I say, my tone hardening instead of my volume raising, as I know Ava is probably trying to get to sleep.

Leif reclines back against the window before Rhys opens his mouth only to be interrupted by a livid Asch, who has stormed over to me.

"HOW _DARE_ YOU ORDER _MY_ MEN AROUND, YOU AND THE SORCERER ARE _OUR PRISO-_ "

My left hand seizes him by the horn and I pull towards me sharply, so close our heads are almost touching. Asch's face flushes bright red, all of the Damos gasp and I'm vaguely aware of Noi letting out a frustrated whine as Pierce covers his eyes.

"Now you listen to me you royal di- prick," I growl, "Ava is trying to sleep and I as much as I would like to smash your head into the kitchen island I don't want to be cleaning up blood stains, so you are going to remain quiet and preferably learn some common courtesy at the same time, _understood_?!" The kitchen island thing is an empty threat - for the moment - but the damos don't know that and apparently take everything too literally.

I release his horn and walk around the motionless prince to the hallway closet, opening it and standing on my toes to reach for the blankets. My fingers grab the one at the bottom of the pile and tug, pulling the blankets down into my hands. 

The stack has landed in my arms close enough to neatly when I step back and hear the 'meow'. 

To avoid stepping on Johnny, I move one of my legs over him but don't move my other in time and fall to the ground, the blankets falling in a mess on top of me. Another weight is added to my chest and I discover what it is when I take the blanket off my head to see Johnny staring down at me.

I sigh but scratch his head fondly, "Stupid cat."

"Lady Y/N!" Noi exclaims, hurrying over to me, "Are you okay?"

I gently push Johnny off of me and gather up the blankets, standing up with a grumble. "Yeah, kiddo, I'm fine," ruffling the light-pink hair between his horns affectionately. "These are for you guys," I say, dumping the blankets in his arms.

"Finally I can focus on my bacon, jeez."

**-+~•~+-**

Five minutes later, the sizzling sounds and intoxicating smell of bacon are all I can sense. Placing two rashers on top of some toast my stomach protests loudly when I cut it in half and put one half on a separate plate.

The damos have been oddly quiet, speaking in hushed tones and I have caught them glancing back to me a couple of times already but apart from the mishap earlier, they have remained respectfully quiet.

Noi had placed the blankets on the couch, next to Pierce, and Johnny has enjoyed curling upon them. The tall damos is quiet and occasionally pets the cat beside him and I can see Johnny staring at Pierce's ponytail as it moves slightly.

I look at the damos and sigh, grudgingly placing the final five rashers into the hot pan. Leaving my vigil by the stove, I pick up one of the plates and carry it over to the bedroom door.

Knocking lightly on the wood, I wait outside. "Who is it?" Ava's voice comes from inside. _"Is e mise, mo bhana-phrionnsa,"_ **(It's me, my princess)** I say softly back.

_"Thig a-steach,"_ **(Come on in)** She replies after hesitating a bit on the pronunciation.

I oblige and open the door, stepping into an over-dramatic bow _, "Tha mi air biadh a thoirt thugad, a ghràidh."_ **(I have brought you food, dear)**

Ava laughs, "Is it bacon by any chance?"

"That it is!" I proclaim, walking over to the left side of the bed, placing the plate down onto the side and placing a kiss on my _bana-phrionnsa's_ head.

Ava grabs my face and pulls me towards her, our lips meeting and moving against each other in harmony. When we separate she moves in for another kiss, but I move my head up and only peck her on the forehead.

"The rest of the bacon's gonna burn," I whisper, "I'll be back in a few minutes _bana-phrionnsa."_

Ava whines slightly and pouts. "Fine, but we're continuing as soon as you've finished!"

I laugh lightly, "Anything for _mo_ _ghaol_." **(my love)**

Ava smiles back at me and reaches for the toast and bacon as I close the door.

Hurrying back over to the stove I quickly flip the bacon over. Phew, not burned, that really would be bad.

Now to sacrifice some toast and bacon to the demons on my couch.


	3. Chapter Three - The Magical Potion Known As Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mornings are hard, mornings without coffee are terrible. (Swearing)

"I refuse to eat your poison, human."

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I regret (not for the first or last time) trying to be hospitable to his royal pain-in-the-ass.

"For the fourth time, it isn't poisoned!" I hold my free arm up in surrender, "But if you don't want to eat it then don't complain to me that you're hungry later!"

Portions of bacon laden toast sit on plates that I've placed on the coffee table in some (clearly misguided) attempt to be hospitable. My own food had been devoured hungrily and I wipe the crumbs off my lips, savouring the lingering taste.

I was already in a bad mood because I had given up the last of my bacon to the demons, damos, whatever, but then Ass - that is to say, _his most magnanimous holiness Prince Asch_ \- refuses to eat it, even going as far as to suggest that I would defile the heavenly meat by _poisoning_ it!

I can put up with a lot, but disrespecting bacon around here is _blasphemy._

_"_ _Muc,"_ **(pig)** I mutter under my breath as I trek back to mine and Ava's room.

Turning around just as I reach the door, I address the Damos that have rather ungratefully left their bacon (all except Noi, you know, that kid is starting to grow on me).

"To restate what Ava said earlier, don't touch, steal or break anything, you have those blankets if you need and under no circumstances come into our room! M'kay?"

"You sleep in the same room as her?" Rhys asks, "Why? Do you not have your own quarters?"

"Are there so many assassins that you have to be in the same room as her to protect her?" Leif chimes in, appearing curious to the answer.

"What? No, can't you tell when- you know what, forget it." I sigh, "There's more room in there than you'd think, I have plenty of my own space."

I blush as I remember that I don't get that much room.

Ava's a total blanket hog.

_'She does look really cute snuggled up against me though. Her cheeks and little nose squish up against my chest and she looks especially cute when she's tired after we've-'_

"See you in the morning!" I splutter out, beet red as I twist the doorknob and slip inside.

**-+~•~+-**

Laying there on our bed, a messy halo of black hair around her peaceful face, was my Ava. Oh my god, I wanna pinch her cheeks so _badly_.

Changing into my night attire, I check my air pistol (now on my nightstand) is loaded before getting under the covers and slowly sliding my arm around _mo bhana-phrionnsa's_ **(my princess's)** waist, pulling her close.

She mumbles to herself and turns around in my arms, squashing her face into my chest. My cheeks bloom with heat and I stifle my 'aww'. Cradling her body in my arms, I feel myself begin to drift off when-

"Meow."

Johnny jumps onto the bed and nestled himself in the crook of my legs, seeming to say, _'You better not move, or you'll wake us up.'_

Chuckling lightly to myself, I press a kiss to Ava's forehead as I drape my arm over the covers; I place my head on the pillow as she uses me as one. Whilst there are demons in the apartment, our bed is a safe space. It's just me, _mo bhana-phrionnsa_ **(my princess)** and Johnny and no pompous princeling or members of his _harem_ are going to lay a finger on them again.

**-+~•~+-**

I wish I could say that I woke up in the morning, with birds singing, Ava curled up in my arms and no demons in our apartment.

Instead, I woke up at what my phone tells me was 1:46 am to Ava wriggling out of my hold and out getting out of bed. "Where are you going?" I croak, "It's too cold without you here!"

The toilet flushes.

"To see who keeps flushing the toilet over and over again," she replies, picking up a giant novelty pencil as a weapon.

"I'll come with you," I say, yawning as I move to roll out of bed.

"I'll be fine, you need to sleep, don't you need to be at work at 6?"

I groan loudly as I remember, "Yeah, they want me to dye my hair so I look like an anime waitress, oh and I have to wear those ridiculous frills too!"

Ava chuckles, "Well, I'm perfectly capable of going to the bathroom on my own," she crosses the room and places a kiss on my lips. I pout as she pulls away.

"Sleep well."

**-+~•~+-** **_  
_**

**_'_ ** **_105 is the number that comes to my head,'_ **

I groan and pick up my phone, disentangle my limbs from Ava's and drag myself over to my draws.

**_'When I think of all the years I wanna be with you.'_ **

Picking up my uniform - plain black shirt, trousers and my undergarments - I cross over to the bathroom and silence my alarm.

I turn on the shower, letting the water pour over my face with a groan as I wash - I hate mornings.

Turning off the hot spray and stepping onto the bathroom tiles, I dry off with a small white towel.

Pulling on my uniform, I exit back into the bedroom as I do up the buttons on my blouse. Once I've managed to pull a hairbrush through the tangled mess I have for hair, I give Ava a quick kiss on the forehead, reminding her softly that I'll be leaving for work in a while before dipping back into the bathroom to put on some mascara.

"Leif, wake the prisoners up," I hear Prince Ass order through the wall.

"With pleasure," Leif responds, probably moving towards the door.

Oh, like _fuck_ you are!

Moving back into my bedroom as quietly as I can, I take my air pistol from off my bedside table and creep behind Leif.

He hears me coming and whips around to see the barrel of my gun pointed between his eyes.

"You are in _so_ much trouble," I hiss, grabbing him by the ear and pulling him out of the room before he can wake Ava.

**-+~•~+-**

"What part of _'do not come into our room'_ did you not understand!"

I'm having a full-on go at the demons, I have involuntarily woken up at _quarter-past-five_ in the _morning_ only to see my quote-on-quote _guests_ doing the _one thing_ I told them _not to do!_

"We were-" Rhys begins, attempting in vain to placate me.

"Trying my fucking patience!" I snap.

Taking a deep breath, I run a hand through my hair, pushing it out of my face so I can take a moment to calm down.

"I need coffee," I mutter, trudging off to the kitchen and opening the cupboard.

...

...

...

...

"And we're out of coffee! How am I meant to survive the day now!"

"This 'coffee'," Rhys starts, "What is it? Is it a healing potion that you need to take every day?"

"Will a human die if they don't have it?" Leif asks, eager to learn of a new way to kill me and my girlfriend probably.

"Coffee is a magical substance that can be added to water to create a potion," I begin, making my voice huskier to sound more mysterious, "This potion gives its drinker more energy, but the taste is too strong for some humans and they cannot tolerate it."

"You said that you will be unable to survive if you do not take this potion, is it also an antidote to poison?" Rhys asks, falling for the coffee-potion.

"Ah, no, that was an exaggeration," I say sheepishly, filling up a cup with water, "When humans work too hard or too much, they do not have time to sleep. Many choose to add milk or sugar to coffee to make the taste more bearable, but only the strongest drink it straight black, giving them the most energy - I am one such person."

I put some bread in the toaster and push the leaver down before turning back to the damos.

"Sleep allows humans to regenerate energy but because those in college or work sometimes cannot sleep enough, coffee allows them to remain awake during the daily trials of life. They can become dependant on it and find it harder to function in the mornings without it."

I take a very unladylike slurp of my water before turning back to them.

"I had to work my ass off to get enough money to survive without anyone to take care of me, practically worked myself to death ever since senior year of high school. I have a job at the local gym and I'm working as a waitress whilst the convention is in town."

"What is a 'convention'?" Rhys asks excitedly, "And is this 'high school' held in the clouds and-"

"I'm going to have to stop you there sunshine," I interrupt and point at the clock as I place my plate in the sink, "I'm going to be late for my job and I need to dry my hair so it can be dyed."

"You're going to kill your hair?" Pierce asks, confused.

"What?! Oh no, I'm going to put a potion on it that will make it a different colour," I explain, "The only problem is that I'll have to put up with it being a different colour until I use another potion because it won't wash out that easily."

"Why not just use magic to change your hair?" Noi pipes up.

I have to make up a lie quickly and stammer, "U-um, I c-can't use magic to change my hair, but I assure you I can do other things!"

I don't want to be under their gaze for too long, Rhys is incredibly inquisitive and I'm worried that he's going to see the holes in our lie. If they find out that Ava and I are lying about our 'magic' I don't want to know what they'll do if they find out that we're useless to whatever their plan is.


	4. Chapter 4 - Walk-in Castle

Arriving at the convention and checking in as staff, I made my way over to the coffee booth that had been set up already.

"(Y/N)!" A preppy voice called out.  
  


I stopped dead in my tracks and hid a grimace, "Lorelai," I say with false sweetness, "How are you?"

"I'm doing great! I thought you and Ava weren't coming to the con!" She says excitedly.

"I'm working here Lorelai, not attending the convention so-"  
  


"(Y/N)!" My boss' voice calls out from behind me, "You're here! Come round the back, we need to get you ready!"

I have never been more grateful to have him pull me away from a conversation and scurry off after him after bidding Lorelai a rushed goodbye.  
  


**-+~•~+-**   
  


I dyed my hair before I left the apartment, shoving my phone and purse into my pocket before dashing out of sight of the Damos before they could bombard me with more questions. Now just had to put up with my fellow baristas insisting that I looked 'cute'.  
  


Yes, because a 6ft 2" muscle-bound woman with a glare that could kill is so Kawaii. **(This isn't meant to be offensive to anyone tall or muscular, it's just voicing that** **this character** **thinks she isn't cute in the same way a bunny could be)**  
  


My shift was busy, _very_ busy. I hadn't been to a convention before and hadn't expected there to be so many caffeine-starved con-goers. Once my shift was over (about 4 pm with a lunch break where I mostly just sat in the back so I could avoid Lorelai) I, unfortunately, ran into the very woman I was trying to avoid.  
  


"(Y/N)! (Y/N)!" Lorelai shouted, running over to me in her maid cosplay, "Why didn't you tell me Ava was sick?"  
  


"Huh?" I mutter, not fully into it before I realise what excuse Ava had used, "O-oh, yeah, she's been feeling rather tired lately, a bit under the weather, ya know?"

"Aw, well, I hope she feels better soon, tell her to call me when you get back to your apartment," Lorelai said, "She can't just stay cooped up in there all of the time, she needs to make more friends beside you!"  
  


_'Ah, yes, because our being together for over two years means we're just friends - you caught us on our first-anniversary date and you still couldn't take the hint?! Dear God she's not that bright.'_   
  


"Well, see you later (Y/N)!" She said cheerfully, waving as she returns to her friends.  
  


**-+~•~+-**

On my way home I stopped by the convenience store to pick up some more coffee, only to find Ava, Pierce, Asch and Noi coming out of the store with bags in their arms.

"Oh, _bhana-phrionnsa_ **(princess)** , didn't think I'd see you before I got home."

"(Y/N)! Hi! I didn't spend 150 dollars on clothes for the demons, he he...." she trails off awkwardly.

I just raise my eyebrows, a small smile playing on my face, "Well you made the right choice, if they stay in those clothes any longer they're going to stink and they'll stand out far too much." I pluck the bags Ava is holding from her hands and transfer them to my left, grabbing her hand and intertwining our fingers.  
  
  


Ava lets out a small squeak and turns red, "(Y/N)! We're in public and someone might see!"

"Oh please, you love it."

"*sigh* You're right."

**-+~•~+-**

Returning to the apartment and setting the bags down inside, I still refuse to let go of Ava's hand, regardless of how the Damos are staring at it as if it's the weirdest thing they've ever seen.  
  
  


I finally disentangle our fingers to observe the apartment and check if anything's been stolen. Finding nothing I return to Ava, "Well, it doesn't look like anything's missing, which is kind of disappointing because then we could've called the cops with a _good_ reason instead of a _crazy_ one."

"Speaking of which," Ava adds, looking around in confusion, "Where are they?"  
  


As if on cue, Rhys emerges _from the wall_ andturns to the Royal Ass, "Prince Asch, this way," He then turns around, heading back through the wall as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Noi gasps in boyish delight, excitement evident in his voice, "They set it up!" He heads through the wall - a new level of crazy I have to bring my mind to accept.

"Good," Asch says, following through the wall. Pierce is not far behind, looking back at Ava and me before he walks through as well.

"Hold up, what!?" Ava asks in disbelief. She walks to the wall and puts out a hand that glides through it before following it and moving through completely.

"Breaking the fourth wall in the fourth chapter? Brilliant! Wait for me!" I say, before following through myself.

**-+~•~+-**

The room is _beautiful._  
  
  


There are fountains in the corners, an open level above, red carpets that move into other rooms through arching doorways. The candles glow with a flame that is _freaking blue_ and oh my sweet baby Jesus I am in _love._ There are statues, marble pillars and benches, chandeliers that seem to be made of crystal, practically everything is lined with gold or some other precious material - all of it is real! It feels like something I could only see in a dream!

"What do you guys think?" Leif asks his fellow Damos, "Rhys bound the room to the wall here, that way we'd feel more at home."

"It took a bit of my magic," Rhys says, "So I must use the rest wisely."

"It's perfect," Asch says, looking around as I am, although not as much in awe.

"You can say that again!" I can't help but exclaim, "Oh my God, it's all beautiful! I could take so many great shots in here!"

"Why would _you_ use a bow in here?" Leif asks dejectedly.  
  
  


I glare at the offending Damos for interrupting my daydream and snap, "I'd be using a _camera_ in this beautiful room, _thank you very much, Snow White!_ "  
  
  


Ava's shaky voice sounds from behind me as she stares at the room, her eyes wide with disbelief. "This is really happening," She stammers out before she gasps and falls to the ground in a faint.

"Oh no, not again," Rhys sighs.

Scooping Ava up in my arms, I carry her to a marble bench and lie her down on its surface.

"Why does she keep doing that?" Rhys asks me.

"Ava has always been prone to fainting," I explain. _'She usually faints when under stress, and she always wants to cuddle afterwards.'_

"She faints because she keeps over-exerting her magic," I fabricate, "We're always using spells, but Ava uses much more magic than me."

"I did not see her cast a spell when she came in," Rhys furthers quizzically.

"She didn't," I continue to weave this story, "There are many spells around this apartment to keep the enemies we've captured trapped. Nothing much, just warriors, a couple wizards and the odd demon or two. Most likely, her magic didn't like the new environment and caused her to faint."

The Damos' eyes widen in shock. "You've captured demons!?" Leif exclaims in shock.

I stifle a chuckle, "Only part of their essence. Demons generally don't attack with their full power because when they attack humans just in case they end up being countered by an exorcist. We defeat and capture the part of their essence they attacked with and trap it in a 'poster'. Some humans even trade and sell posters to hang them in their homes."

I say this all so nonchalantly and it sounds as if we go down to hell every other weekend to have tea with Lucifer. Or go to his nightclub **(wink)**.

Whilst the Damos are staring in shock and trying to comprehend what shit they've gotten themselves into, Ava sits up with a gasp. "This isn't a dream still!" She laments, her eyes filled with sorrow.

I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side, comforting her as she leans into my shoulder and buries her face in my silvery hair.

"Here," Pierce offers, "Maybe this will help you," He holds out a box of... Munchie Scrunchies? Where was he hiding that?

Ava gasps, standing up, "What the? Where did you get this?!"

"I... took it," Pierce says slowly.

Mine and Ava's eyes narrow, "Without paying?!" I exclaim.

"Okay," Ava lets out a defeated sigh, "I'm good, I'm good for today. You guys learned about the mall, I got to pretend to be a magic, wizardy, sorcerer and you guys _stole stuff. Cool_ , I'm just gonna go return these and, er, for now just give us some time to decide what we're gonna do next." She plucks the box of cereal out of Pierce's outstretched hand.

"Like, leave us alone for a day, or something, just to clear our minds." I say, turning to Ava, "Besides, we totally have _demons to capture_ , don't we _mo_ _bhana-phrionnsa?"_ **(My princess)** I gently grab her arm and steer her away from the Damos and back out into our apartment, where they thankfully do not follow us.

"Capturing demons?!" Ava asks me incredulously as I serve Johnny some cat food. "What was that about?!"

I blush awkwardly, "Um, yeah, I kinda said that you fainted because you use magic to keep parts of demons trapped in posters."

"What."

"Ya know, the poster of Sebastian by our bed, the Blue Exorcist ones and the many more you have in the closet."

" _Why_."

"I was worried that if they thought there wasn't any evidence for your magic that they'd try to kill us! Leif snuck into our room this morning when you were sleeping, I want them to think that you're dangerous so that they won't try to pull that again."

Ava pouts playfully, "I'm dangerous already, recognise my power!" She pushes me onto the couch and I humour her by falling down as if I have been defeated by a mighty foe. She lays down on top of me and snuggles into my chest, "Now I have defeated you!"

I laugh, wrapping my arms around her and placing a kiss on her head. We stay there comfortably for a while before I speak up, "Munchie Scrunchies, Netflix and cuddles?"

"Oh _yes_ _please_."


	5. Chapter 5 - Bubble Baths and DO THESE BITCHES NOT KNOW HOW TO KNOCK!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON'T SKIP THIS! 
> 
> There is nudity in this chapter (not NSFW - minds out of the gutter!) but (Y/n) has a bad reaction to something and this triggers an emotional breakdown/panic attack. 
> 
> If this will trigger or offend you in any way, I advise you not to read - your mental health is important!

Taking a bath with your significant other is _relaxing._ Whilst I'm not one to blatantly admit it, I enjoy Ava pampering me. She enjoys it too, but I have to draw the line at hairbows. Maybe I'd allow a black one, someday.

"Ah," Ava sighs gently, "This is relaxing." 

I hum appreciatively, almost purring as she massages conditioner into my hair. "Face mask doing okay for you, Johnny?" she asks our cat (still don't know what possessed Ava to put a face mask on him.) He meows in reply.

" _Nice,_ " I say tiredly, sinking further into the warm, bubbly water as I let out a yawn.

"You know, I'm so impressed," Ava remarks, "I haven't seen a horny guy in almost 24 hours now."

I snort, blowing some bubbles away from my face, "Well maybe not a horny _guy_ -" Ava picks up a bath jug and pours water over my head, rinsing out the conditioner and effectively shutting me up.

"You know what I mean! The demons-" Johnny meows, almost as if he was correcting her, "Damos! whatever!"

I huff in annoyance and move my lilac hair away from my face like curtains, pouting at my girlfriend. She chuckles and blows a couple of bubbles my way before relaxing against the edge of the tub. The bathtub is _massive_ , I could be completely underwater and my feet wouldn't reach the end. So that's exactly what I did.

Scooting over to the other end of the tub and taking a deep gulp of air, I fully submerged myself in the water, hiding under the bubbles. I close my eyes and relish the silence. All I can hear is faint murmuring, probably Ava talking to Johnny, but when she screams I sit bolt upright, sending bubbles and water everywhere.

Leif - the absolute _pervert_ \- is _halfway in the wall_ , staring down at my _very naked_ girlfriend who's hurriedly gathering bubbles towards her chest in an attempt to cover it.

He looks over at me in surprise at my sudden appearance, but then he expression returns to one of confusion, "I'm trying to figure out why you're doing this."

My face is burning and Ava's is an even more unhealthy shade of violent red. "Why the fuck are you in our wall!?! _Faigh an ifrinn a-mach!"_ **(Get the Hell out)**

He doesn't respond and instead, Prince Ass' head and torso come through the wall. "Leif, what are you-" He starts before noticing me and Ava, "Wait, what are they doing?"

"I asked the same question!" Leif exclaimed, "I was about to go asks the human sorcerer about human clothes since we can't figure them out!"

"I thought Noi figured it out?"

"Yeah, I don't trust Noi," the assassin said, "So I was going to ask the human's what to do with them since Rhys would just get all smart with me, but the humans are just sitting in water."

"Ugh, disgusting," Asch replies.

Ava shrieks in angry indignation, "We're taking a bath! Do you guys not know what a bath is on whatever planet you're from!?! Also, we have names too, you know!"

"Planet?" Leif asks, looking down at Ava, confused.

The Royal Ass' temper flares, "I'm not sure what you meant but it _sounded like an insult!"_

 _'I'll give you an insult, cù boireann!_ **(bitch)** _'_ I scream in my head, not out loud because I feel so incredibly vulnerable without clothes on and with my pistol somewhere in our bedroom.

Rhys comes through the bathroom door, and whilst he opened it like a normal person _he didn't knock!_

"Your Majesty, Leif! If you're going to move from one room to the other, please go all the way through, being stuck in the middle uses my magic and-" he catches sight of me and _mo_ _bhana-phrionnsa_ **(my princess)** in the bathtub. I'm praying to whatever gods spring to mind that he'll recognise we're bathing and get the two perverts out but _noooo._

"What are they doing?" Rhys asks, _'you were the only hope for some basic manners! why must you fail me so?'_

The dark-skinned Damos' eyes light up with curiosity, "Is this also a mixing chamber for potions?"

"They're in it though," Asch remarks, "Is this how you humans harness magic?"

"Was our method on Damos invalid?" Rhys ponders out loud.

Leif walks up beside them, "But the other method's more fun for me."

Pierce had walked through the doorway - the same way Rhys had come through - he entered so quietly I barely realised he was there, "The humans are drawing more ren by the second."

"GET OUT!" both Ava and I scream.

"Why don't you make us?" Oh, the royal pain did _not_ just try that.

"I would kill you if I could but right now I can't!" Ava shouts back, face still flaming red.

"If she starts to kill him, I'm going for her!" Leif yells excitedly, drawing his twin sickles.

"They can't move," Pierce states simply, probably making this assumption from where I sit rigidly in the tub. 

Leif crosses his sickles and the metal makes a wooshing sound, "That'll make this even more fun!" He grins sadistically.

I'm honestly about to cry, I hate being exposed in front of strangers and having four people I most certainly do not trust around me is making my throat tighten and tears threaten to form in my eyes. Ava is lovely and kind and even then it took me a while to get used to being undressed in front of her, but these _monsters_ want to kill us and I'd be powerless to stop it.

Noi's voice sounded from the corner of the bathroom, although I couldn't see him myself, "Guys, I'm now positive I did the clothes wrong..."

All the Damos turn around to look at him and it gives me a moment to suddenly grab the semi-full jug and brandish it like a weapon, my free hand still holding bubbles to my chest to preserve what little dignity I have left.

Noi comes into view then he sees us, "Woah, what're they _doing?_ "

I'm half considering crying right then and there and half considering cussing the Damos into next week. I chose the latter option in a desperate attempt to maintain some composure.

"If you absolute goddamn, motherfucking perverts don't get out right this very second I'm going to-"

"You'll what?" Prince Ass interrupts, "You haven't done anything but throw idle threats our way!"

"So have you!" Ava protests.

"How dare you, I'll-" Asch starts, summoning fire to his hand when I finally react, throwing water at him whilst half yelling/crying, " _Ifrinn leat, bidh thu a ’grodadh!"_ **(To Hell with you, you rots!)**

The fire is extinguished and the Damos promptly begin to freak out. I'm sure I've just sealed our fate when Rhys yells, "She knows disarming magic!"

Noi screams, "Ah, run!" The Damos scatter, moving back through the wall and running out of the bathroom door.

Asch remains and Ava flings a little more water at him, sending him running. As soon as he has disappeared the tears start to fall. Ava moves over to me in the tub and wraps me up in her arms as I cry. She's much smaller than me but I curl up on myself and bury my head into the side of her neck, sniffling and letting her pet my head gently.

I _hate_ these demons.

**-+~•~+-**

Once I had finally managed to calm down and we had got out of the bath, I sat swaddled in a towel and multiple blankets whilst Ava went off at the Damos outside our room. The door was slightly ajar and I listened in whilst petting Johnny and changing into some comfier clothes. 

"Alright, if we're going to be your prisoners, we need to lay down some ground rules!" Ava demands.

"As a prisoner, you don't get to _make_ rules," The royal pain snaps.

I emerge, decked out in my giant hoodie (It's large on _me_ , and I'm 6, 2") and some baggy sweatpants. My pistol rests in my pocket, but there's no point in loading only a single bullet. "Who's the powerful sorcerer?" I say, sending the fiery prince and pointed look.

"That's right, me," Ava sasses, putting her hands on her hips as she completes my sentence. How that towel is staying up whilst she isn't holding it is a mystery, but one I won't question as Pierce speaks up.

"Sorceress," he corrects.

Ava sputters in angry exasperation and makes a dismissive hand gesture, "Why are you guys coming through our walls?"

Rhys, the walking encyclopedia he is, is more than happy to explain. "Once our home is linked to a surface, we can enter through anyplace at will in close proximity."

"So you guys can come in anywhere in our apartment, at any time?" I ask for clarification.

"He literally _just_ said that," Leif drawled.

"Alright!" Ava interjected, "I can fix that then." She stalks back into our room and comes back out a few moments later with a red crayon.

She stalks over to a portion of the wall and begins to draw on it. "This is my magic spell wand called: cray-o-la," she intones, "Once I've marked this door, you are bound to only use this spot to enter and exit. if you don't use this spot. You'll. Die."

Ava has drawn a doorway that is thankfully tall enough to let even Pierce through without ducking in red crayon. Her berry eyes are so serious that it even I did a double-take, but the Damos freaked out again.

"What?!"

"Now we're talking!" 

"Nooo!"

"..."

"You can't do that!" Rhys protests in disbelief.

" _Tha iad gòrach _**(they _are_ stupid)**," I remarked.

"I. Just. Did." Ava affirms, "Now the next thing: stop calling us human sorcerer or human warrior, okay? We have names."

"Ava," Pierce speaks up, "(Y/n)."

"Y-yes, how did you-?" 

"Your friend at the sacred mall said it."

"Okay, first off, Lorelai isn't my friend," Ava objects, an irritated look on her face at the mention of the annoying brunette, "She just yells 'friend' at us and we reciprocate because I'm apparently an enabler. Second-"

Noi interrupts Ava's tirade, "Do you know our names?"

Ava stammers - the answer is 'no', but she tries anyway. "I-I know that, um, he's Rhys erm, and,"

I've always had a knack for remembering faces and names, really tends to be more of a curse than a blessing - just freaks some people out - so I take it from here.

"Leif," I point to the green assassin.

"Noi," I point to the cinnamon bun.

"Pierce," I point to the stoic giant.

I have to bite my tongue to refrain from saying 'ass' but I get it out, "Prince Asch."

"I knew that," Ava laughs nervously, "I was just, er, testing ya!"

"Wow, (Y/n)!" Noi exclaims, eyes bright, "You passed!"

His sincerity is amusing, it isn't a big deal but he's so enthusiastic. "Ava would expect nothing less of me," I puff my chest out comically, "But now, we need to talk about personal space-"

The doorbell rings and I look over to Ava, "-Right after we answer the door." Ava crosses the apartment to answer the door and I turn back to the Damos. "In the meantime, put these clothes on," I gesture to the five separate piles of clothes on the table.

"But we're not sure-"

"Figure it out," I snap, following Ava to the door.

**-+~•~+-**

My girlfriend has answered the door in her _towel_ (where she gets that confidence I'll never know) and little old Mrs Oats is standing there. "Oh Ava, (Y/n), I've been so worried about you!"

"What do you mean?" Ava asks nervously.

"I've heard you screaming and yelling all weekend! I was especially worried when I heard you screaming for three hours straight."

"Why didn't you call the cops then?"

"Oh, that might've been a good idea."

I sweatdrop, "Mrs Oats, what if we were like, dying?"

Her usual zany smile settles on her face, "Oh, I'm sorry my dears, my memory goes when I don't have notes on my fridge."

I mentally facepalm.

"I'll be sure to make a note for next time, but I'm glad you're both alright," Mrs Oats finishes with a smile.

"Thanks."

"Oh," She remembers, "Before I ask about the screaming, do you think one of you could take this present to my grandson down the street today?" She holds out a white box wrapped with a large green ribbon, "You always deliver things on time for me and I appreciate it so much."

"Yeah, sure, we can do that for you," I say, taking the present from Mrs Oats' outstretched arms.

"Oh, thank you so much (Y/n), and here, my usual payment to you both since you're so sweet," The elderly women smiles politely, "Now what were you screaming about-"

"Ava, (Y/n)," Rhys' voice comes from behind us, "Look, I figured out how to put clothes on!"

" _Airson gràdh Dhè..._ **(for the love of God)** ," I whisper, face becoming burning red as I turn around.

"No one saw him do it and he won't tell us," Pierce grumbled.

"That's because it's a test from them and I passed," Rhys counters.

"Go away!" Ava shrieks and the Damos thankfully comply.

We turn back to face Mrs Oats, our faces burning red and to my horror, she winks. "Ooh, I see what's going on."

" _Please_ , it's _not_ what you think," I beg.

"Oh, I was young once true," Mrs Oats dismisses, "I'm glad to see you're both in good hands."

"Oh my god you have the wrong idea," Ava tells Mrs Oats.

"Prisoners!" Asch yells from behind us, "Get over here now!"

"Oh my!" Mrs Oats remarks.

My face practically explodes, "We've gotta go Mrs Oats!" I hurriedly splutter, "Sorry!" I close the doors.

"I was pretty wild back in my days too," She laughs. Oh lord, she has the wrong idea. "No shame if you've got game!"

"Oh God, not sweet, little old Mrs Oats," Ava laments.

"I won't be able to look her in the face for _days_ ," I mourn.

As we walk back to our room to keep the present safe, for the time being, Noi is fawning over Rhys _putting on clothes._ " _Rhys_ , how did you _do it?_ "

"It's really simple." The dark-skinned Damos, who's now decked out in smart blue trousers, white shirt and a matching dark blue vest half-tucked into a white belt, says.

"But the sorceress," Noi corrects himself, " _Ava_ , said that they're magic clothes from the sacred mall!"

 _' Sacred Mall?'_ I wonder.

"Use your _brain_ , Noi-"

"You guys _suck_ ," Ava says, hands back on her hips.

Asch turns around, face furious and voice dangerously low, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, 'your majesty'!" Ava snaps back, "It's bad enough you guys are taking over our home, but now I have to imagine sweet little Mrs Oats like, argh! And she thinks we're, argh!"

"Don't speak to me like that," Asch practically growls.

I reach out a hand to grab Ava back, but she steps forward defiantly, her voice dangerously sharp.

" _Make me stop then_."

So _someone_ rolled a big fat 1 on self-preservation.

Asch steps towards her, gripping her harshly by the shoulder whilst he summons fire in his opposite hand. Rhys sends out a cry of "Your Majesty, stop!" whilst I shout, " _Mo bhana-phrionnsa!_ " **(my princess)** and move to wrench him away from my girlfriend before she becomes cinders.

"You will be next, just you wait," Asch threatens me with dark eyes.

I approach the prince in an attempt to finally give in to my upmost desire of breaking his nose when a small shadowy object rams into Asch (he deserved it.) It then hits Ava's chest, sending her to the floor before it shoves me into the wall. Oddly enough, the push is forceful but gentle, almost as if the shadow didn't want to harm me. Or it's really weak.

The ball of shadow comes to a stop on the floor, its white eyes glowing ominously.

"What the ever-loving fuck is-"

The darkness absorbs back into the creature and dissipates into... a galaxy cat.

Am I on drugs?

I stare at the cat (am I sure it's even a cat?) and it just sits there, purring contentedly.

"Another spirit?" Pierce questions.

Pulling her knees to her chest, Ava stares at the cat in abject bewilderment, "Th-that's not a cat I've ever seen..."

Johnny jumps from the couch and approaches the galaxy cat, fur on end and hissing. They enter a hissing and yowling contest which only grows in volume.

"Fascinating," Rhys squints at the purple cat from across the room, "This spirit looks more like a spirit on Damos, while the other looks like an E-urth one."

I help Ava stand. "Wait, so when you say spirit, do you mean cat or...?" Ava asks, trailing off.

"What?" Rhys seems confused. 

"A cat. For example," I pick Johnny up in my arms before he gets swiped at by the Damos 'spirit', and cross the room, showing him to Rhys, who no-longer needs to squint, "Johnny's a cat, and that new cat... is a cat."

"What? We call them spirits on Damos," The dark-skinned Damos studies the cat in my arms. "Usually they bind to someone and act as guardians of a sort, but their uses vary."

Ava walks over and crouches in front of the spirit, "Aww, so this adorable widdle kitty cat is a guardian?"

Like I said, self-preservation skills: _1_.

"Spirit," Rhys corrects again.

The spirit ignores Ava and walks around her as if she wasn't even there. Ava looks slightly hurt, "Not very friendly, are you?"

The spirit sits down in front of Asch, meowing sweetly like an obedient pet. _So this cat has terrible taste then._

Noi's eyes light up like stars, "Does that spirit know Asch?"

"It appears so," Pierce adds.

Asch's cheeks flush with pink, "I-I've never seen this spirit in my life."

"It looks like it knows you," Ava comments as I slide Johny into her arms.

"I said I don't know it!" Asch protests loudly. Can someone say tsundere?

"Maybe it's taken a liking to you," Rhys mediates the situation before something gets set on fire, "I've never seen this spirit before either."

"It must've crossed over from our world somehow," Leif remarks, "I've seen this type of spirit before, but they're very rare to come across..."

"Then Asch should consider himself lucky," Pierce's low rumble sounds from across the room.

Asch practically glares down at the spirit as it smiles complacently up at him.

"Be nice!" Ava scolds, stroking Johnny's fur, "Stop giving the cute kitty a mean look, Asch."

Prince Ass looks taken aback. "You said my name," he remarks, almost in shock, before a smirk form on his face, "Heh, never heard a human say my name before."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"(Y/n)! Swear jar!" Ava protests.

I give my girlfriend the most deadpan stare I can muster.

Rhys sweatdrops, "Hey, erm, how about since tensions are calm now, you guys go back to trying to put on human clothes?"

Ava's brow momentarily furrows in confusion, "Human clothes....? Oh, right! I've gotta go put mine on to go deliver this gift for Mrs Oats!" She walks back to our room.

"Can I see how you do it?" Leif asks.

"No!"

 _"CHAN EIL!"_ **(No)** , I yell in unison with my dark-haired girlfriend as she slams the doors and I take a protective position in front of them.

"I swear I'm going to figure this out if it kills me!" Noi declares with determination.

"I can help with one part of that!" Leif laughs, drawing his twin sickles.

My lips twitch up slightly but I'm distracted by a soft paw being pressed against my leg. _I thought Johnny went with Ava?_

Looking down, the spirit is pawing at my sweatpants, trying to get my attention and nuzzling against the limb. I take my hands out of my hoodie pocket in surprise and the spirit takes the opportunity to leap into my arms.

I catch it by reflex, god knows Ava's done this enough times, but I wasn't expecting the spirit to be _that soft_. It nuzzles into my chest and I blush slightly from the affection, petting the soft lilac fur (hey, it copied my hair colour!) and scratching it under its chin.

The spirit-cat purrs happily, like I'm it's long-lost-owner or something, and my face flushes a dark red.

I take it back, this spirit has _excellent_ taste.

I'm happily petting the cat (do you think Ava will let me keep it?!) the girlfriend in question walks out of our room, dressed with the white and green present in hand.

"Alright, here's what's gonna happen," Ava announces, "Rhys, you're gonna come with me to deliver this present since you were so good and managed to get your clothes on the fastest."

Rhys' eyes sparkle, "R-really?!"

"Not fair," Pierce says monotonously.

"Yeah!" Noi objects childishly.

" _Stop acting like children!_ " Asch scolds. 

_'Look who's talking'_

_"_ And _you_ ," he turns to Ava, "Don't order my men around!"

Ava responds calmly, "You wanna learn more about Earth, right? Then stop fighting me and let us help you guys."

Asch continues to glare but doesn't speak out in protest.

"Just trust me," Ava placates, "I'm not going to fight this anymore, just gonna go along with it." Turning to look at Rhys, her brows furrow in contemplation, "Now, uh, the _horns_."

"What?" Rhys asks, expression suddenly changed to mild worry.

"In case you haven't noticed, humans don't have horns," I speak up as the spirit-cat begins to nuzzle my face and my heart melts, "You're gonna have to wear a hat or something."

"But we wore our horns before..."

"Yes, and do you know where I went yesterday?" I ask as I adjust the ball of lilac fur in my arms so it resembles me holding a baby.

"Um, to your 'job'?" 

"Well, you're not _wrong_ , but afterwards I had to take out two swarms of Coal Tars and even a mid-level Naberius which had been trying to track you."

"Coal Tars and a mid-level what what?" Leif asks, bewildered.

" _Na-be-ri-us_ , kin of Asteroth, Demon King of Rot. Nasty ass things stink like corpses that have been left in the sun for three weeks." I am pulling this straight out my ass, of course (thank you Blue Exorcist Wiki). 

I turn back to the spirit cat in my arms and begin cooing, "But you're so much cuter than them of course, oh yes you are, oh yes you are my widdle puddy tat, _tha thu nad leanabh cho grinn_ **(you're such a cute baby)** oh yes you are~"

Ava coughs, "Ah, (Y/n), back to the point, please. And stop making me jealous of a _cat_."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry _mo_ _bhana-phrionnsa_ **(my princess)** ," I laugh nervously, God I'm in for it later.

"Yeah, so you're going to have to hide your horns otherwise I'm gonna be really overworked keeping demons and other monsters off your backs and we're trying to keep a low profile anyway sooo....." I trail off.

Asch sighs, "We can hide our horns with magic."

"What the hell were you thinking (Y/n)? That was so- wait, you can?" Ava begins scolding me before she pays attention to what Asch said.

"Yes, we used to hide them when hunting down-"

"Food!" Leif interrupts, "Yes! They would, er, _glow_ under certain circumstances!"

Noi's brows furrow, "Wait, that's not-" Leif smacks him in the head, cutting him off in a really not subtle way of telling his pink-haired companion to shut up.

"Well regardless," I interrupt, "Hide them, or your time here on Earth is going to be cut _very_ short. Some people would give an arm and a leg to dissect you." The galaxy cat boops my nose with a paw. "Oh don't worry baby, I won't let the big mean scientists harm you~ Do you want chin scratches? I think you want chin scratches, don't you~?"

The Damos stare at me in confusion and shock (I've ping-ponged between talking about things that (don't exist) have tried to kill them to petting and cooing over a spirit from their world (I'm definitely keeping this btw). Ava switches between glaring at the spirit-cat with jealousy to a melted face of 'aww' as she watches my fussing and Johnny just looks at me with a look of utter betrayal.

Rhys clears his throat, "We can hide them like this, observe." He places his hands over his dark blue horns and closes his eyes in concentration. The horns disappear. 

Well, that was thoroughly unimpressive. I have a magic cat that can transform into a shadow now. Beat that.

"Wow!" Ava exclaims, pink eyes wide.

"Yes, but only Damos with magic can do it," He turns to Noi, "Which means..."

Noi's face falls, "I can't," he cries.

"You don't have magic?" Ava questions.

"I used to but I used it up to get us here," Noi whimpers.

"Hmm, alright then," Ava dismisses, "Rhys, we're heading out, you guys, figure out how to put your clothes on."

"I'll, erm, make sure they don't destroy anything and will check up on Sebastian," I offer. I need to show Bassy our new cat! Hey! No judging me.

"You are taking this way too seriously aren't you (Y/n)?" Ava mumbles under her breath, "But yeah, please make sure nothing gets set on fire. Now, we out!"

Ava turns and leaves the apartment, Rhys following close behind. I recognise the scholar's spark in his eyes, he's gonna bombard Ava with questions the second he gets the chance. I had that spark once - before it was snuffed out.

Wow, where did that wave of feels come from?

"Now, prisoner," Asch addresses me, "Show us how these human clothes work."

I blink down at him in mild surprise. "H-have you really not figured it out yet?"

Prince Ass' patience is wearing dangerously thin at this point, and I immediately have to placate the situation because Rhys isn't here to babysit him.

"Well, I guess your clothes do look very different from ours..." I rake my eyes over the thin black material that really is doing nothing to keep those abs to the imagination.

No! Stop (Y/n), you horny sinner! You have a girlfriend!

"But I suppose they can't be that different in principle," I adjust the spirit-cat in my arms again and they begin purring into my hoodie, "Just put them on the same way you'd do your Damos clothes."

"Really?" Leif wonders, "I thought there'd be more to it than that."

"Not really," I shrug, "Just give it a try."

They begin to take off their skin-tight armour and I yelp, accidentally squishing the galaxy cat a little in my arms. Jesus freaking christ they have no right to look that fit! I hastily apologise to the cat before turning back to the Damos. "No, no, nononono, not in front of me, you idiots! Gargh, my eyes and mind need holy water!"

The Damos share glances with each other.

"Just let me leave before you change!" I dive into Ava and my's bedroom as fast as humanly possible, closing the door behind me.

**-+~•~+-**

Settling the spirit-cat on my lap, I stroke the soft fur, soothing myself. Sitting religiously in front of our Sebastian poster, I speak to him as if he was real (a girl can dream).

"She's beautiful, don't you think Bassy?"

The poster doesn't respond.

"I know, right? Look at all this blue neck floof too!" I scritch said floof happily as the spirit-cat purrs in my lap.

"Yes, yes, a very beautiful specimen indeed, you're a demon of very good taste, my dear Bassy. Now!" I announce to no one in particular, "A name for the widdle puddy tat~"

I study the spirit-cat, taking in the moon and star markings over her body. "Beautiful little star aren't you? I suppose 'Star' could be a good name, but it's a little basic..."

I lift the cat to my face, "Hmm, how about... Selene? After the Goddess of the moon?" The spirit-cat meows happily, as if in agreement. "Selene it is then!" I declare triumphantly, "Now, you must be hungry, I'm sure Johnny wouldn't mind sharing some cat food."

Something smashes outside our room.

I stand quickly, scooping Selene into one arm, and run to the door, pulling my pistol out of my hoodie pocket and turning off the safety. I burst out of the door to see Jake - our landlord - pinned to the wall my Leif, a curved dagger pressed against his neck.

"Please don't hurt me!" Jake begs, understandably terrified.

"Be quiet, human!" Asch yells, "We know someone sent you in here to kill us!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" He responds frantically.

Pierce notices me and points to my terrified landlord, "This human came and snuck in."

"Was this a betrayal?!" Asch demands loudly.

" _Ifrinn fuilteach_ **(bloody Hell)** , no, he's just the landlord! Probably a noise complaint from the screaming."

"So sorceress Ava is the reason he is here!"

Said 'sorceress' then enters the apartment with Rhys in tow. "I was with her the whole time, your majesty, she did not once call in reinforcements!"

"And I was with Selene and Sebastian the whole time!" I protest my innocence.

"You named it!" Ava yelled incredulously.

"Yes! I did! But that isn't important right now," I raise my gun and point it at Leif, "Back off and let the man explain what he's doing in our apartment."

The green assassin does as threatened, backing off a few paces, but not sheathing his knife.

"Um, I'm the landlord, so I got worried when Mrs Oats-" Jake stammers before I interrupt him.

"Oh my- can you guys do something with your magic to make him forget?!" I demand hurriedly.

"Leave it to me," Leif announces, smacking Jake on the back of the head. The blond's body collapses on the floor.

Ava covers her mouth in horror, "What did you-"

"He's out," Pierce says monotonously.

"When, good job Leif!" Noi praises, uncharacteristically happily for the occasion.

The white-haired Damos smiles, "Heh, I try."

"Quick!" I spring into action, "Hide your horns before he wakes up!"

Jake groans from his spot on the floor like he's about to wake up and Ava and I panic even more.

"Shit! Pierce!" I address the tallest Damos, "Get Jake outside and then come back in and hide!"

"M-my name," Pierce stammers in shock.

"That was an order, don't make me repeat myself!" I bark, my tone taking on that of an authority figure, normal voice lowering an octave to be stern and forceful.

Pierce's shock doubles at the sound of my voice before nodding and picking up the still unconscious Jake with little to no effort.

I rush into the bedroom, placing my gun down on the bedside table and rifling around the back of the draw. _'Where are they? where are they? where are they, THERE'S THE BITCHES!'_ I shove the items into my sweatpants pocket and rush back out.

I stop to glare at the Damos, "I will handle this mess _you_ caused. But do not make. A single. _Fucking._ Sound."

**-+~•~+-**

Jake groans, and opens his eyes to see me hovering above him. I help him sit up as he rubs his head. "Oh God, Jake, are you okay? I hit you pretty hard there."

Jake looked at me confused but didn't respond, so pressed on with my lie, "I opened the door just as you were about to knock, although I clearly put too much force into it and knocked you out for a moment."

"Wait? It did?" Jake puzzles.

"Yeah, I'm really, _really_ sorry."

"B-but the demons in your room... I came in, didn't I?"

I shake my head, "Erm, no, although you did sound like you were having quite the nightmare."

"I-I could've sworn-" Jake cuts himself off, shaking his head, "Nevermind, no, I'm so sorry, (Y/n)."

"No need to apologise, _I_ was the one who hit you after all, here," I offer him a hand up, which he gladly takes, "You seem a little disoriented."

I take out one of the items from my pocket and pray no one's listening from the other side of the door. 

"Well, I was heading out for a smoke, wanna join me?" I offer the packet of cigarettes to my shocked landlord.

"Y-you smoke?"

I wince sheepishly, "I'm trying to quit, down to one every two months actually, but I've just been up to my eyes in stress recently." I look back up to him, "My offer still stands if you want one."

"Ah, no thanks, I'm just gonna.. ..lay down for a bit." Jake walks speedily away down the stairs and I put the pack back in my pocket.

"Well, if you're going that way, my lazy ass is gonna take the elevator," I mumble to myself.

**-+~•~+-**

I hold my hands stiffly around the cigarette, I wasn't lying about the one every two months, Ava was a big help with that but she doesn't know I have the pack. She assumes I only have the nicotine gum, but we also agreed I can't buy any more after that packet runs out.

I flick on the lighter and hold it to the end of the cigarette I half-finished last month, lighting it. I inhale and my body relaxes as the nicotine enters my system again. Damn, I've missed this. I shouldn't be doing this, technically I wasn't meant to finish this cig until next week, but as I blow smoke ring after smoke ring, I feel more and more relaxed.

So, today I had a panic attack, made my elderly neighbour think we now have an overly kinky harem, adopted and named a new fur child, confessed to my landlord about my old smoking addiction (I had a rough spot in my life okay?) and finished my cigarette early.

I snuff the stub of the cigarette out on the ground and trace an unidentifiable symbol on the ground in the ashes. I stare at the faint symbol in confusion before laughing, “All this stress and I’ve gone and drawn a devils trap, ha, lord what is my mental state coming to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, so, obligatory 'not dead?' Sorry you've all had to wait so long, but does an almost 6000-word chapter make up for it? heh.


End file.
